The tragedy for many of us is that our childhood survival strategies (“What I need to do”) become subjective identities to be protected (“Who I really am”).
Our ad hoc attempts (strategies) to be seen and soothed and safe when distressed (as children) become who we are (identities) and what we need to defend (as adults).
Self-compassion and freedom comes when we can say to ourselves, “It was necessary and good for me to have responded that way”, and “I can explore new and better ways to respond now.”
